A Silent Prayer from a Silent Servant

How long Oh, God?

Shall I serve you in silence?
Timid and shallow, hanging on the fringe...
Caring for the scowl of the world,
When I know your faintest smile
Brings all crashing down.


I beg you savior, give me courage.
Make me bold and give me words.
I've read your desires and I've heard your commands,
Please give me your love so I can understand.


I don't want to be silent, not even one more day.
Please move in me, help me to follow your ways.
Lord I know I'm broken, but I want to know you more.
Lead me, guide me, work through me I beg you God.


So I can be silent, not one day more

Truly a servant, for my Lord.

This prayer comes from the heart of a Christian that knows their responsiblity of proclaiming Christ to the world but just like so many of us this Christian feels choked and unable to do the task set before him. I don't think it's easy for many of us; to just walk out and become an evangelist overnight but then again why is it so difficult?

Most people will boldy argue about politics, sports and even what kind of food they like; which is normal. Yet when it comes to Christ, I see so many people (including myself) that bottle up and want to pretend like they don't know him. So something I've really been struggling with is the obvious question, why are we willing to sit around and argue about my favorite football team or promote one politician over another while my convictions about the savior of the world remain quiet?

I've been praying with the same words and motives that you've seen in the above poem for a while because it really bugs me that I don't necessarily go out of my way to stand for God, but why?

If that isn't enough to keep you awake at night I don't know what is; you supposedly love and adore the almighty creator of time, space and the physical laws of this complex world yet you carry him around in your back pocket so that you can be identified with him when you want to be... wake up call! This isn't how it works, God is far to big for that... but that's a discussion for another post. I think the problem is that we've forgotten, as Christians, how to be excited for God and actually be in love with God.

Therein lies our problem, we have the commission given in the gospel and we know what we are supposed to do but the problem seems to be that we don't have the proper motive:

Mark 16:15

And he said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature."

What we as believers are lacking is Christ's mindset, which makes ministry almost impossible and actually quite empty. If we are to serve God and actually be the picture of Jesus that our generation sees then we need to first start in our hearts and learn how to love people, we need to learn how Jesus loves us. Once we can see how Jesus loves us only then can we actually be the reflection of Christ that we are meant to be, something full of love and life instead a hollow action.

If I actually have any readers, if this Bent Reflection is actually doing any good in the world I would like to issue this challenge that I am taking for myself today.

John 3:16

for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son; that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life.

The challenge I am taking today is to take the most common verse in the world and understand why it is so common, to understand all over again why that we are told this verse at the age of five. Take these bolded words literally and think about them, from your perspective or the perspective of your parents and understand what it is to give up your child, the center of your life as a human and not only let him be killed but tortured and spit upon by the people of this world in order so that they can live free from the bondage of sin. Let this idea of perfect love for you and me sink in... it's inhuman!

Something only God could do and that's why he did it. Just think about that for a while. How good of a reflection are we of that kind of love?